I haven’t posted anything in awhile, but a week into 25 I’m realizing how much I still have to learn. This entire year has been full of change and learning experiences. The man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with decided he didn’t want to be with me, I had to file my first lawsuit due to a crazy landlord, and I’m re-configuring my life again. For every bad thing that has happened this year there has been something good that has happened. My best friend and I went through huge break ups 2 days apart and now we’re going to be living together. There’s nothing better than being able to go through huge life changes with your best friend by your side. I have learned so much this year and I figured I would share some of what I’ve learned:
1) When you are going through seriously rough times you will see who your real friends truly are. My friends have been my rocks and my support system. They listened to me over analyze the same situation over and over again without complaint. When I felt my world was falling apart they let me vent and cry to them no matter what time of the day or night it was. And when I needed a distraction from reality for a little while they were right there by my side. I’ve never been happier to have these girls in my life! They’re like the sisters I never had and i don’t know what I would do without them 🙂
2) You can break up with someone and remain friends. It is not always easy, and it definitely isn’t for everyone, but there are certain times you can remain friends. Not everyone will understand (sometimes I still don’t understand it) but you will be able to be in each others lives on a non romantic level. I’ve been best friends with my ex the last 6 years and we both decided we wanted to stay friends. Now that the romance aspect is off the table we’re basically bros. So far it has gone pretty well and I hope we can stay friends. Which leads to…
3) It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into making something work if the other person isn’t doing the same. I know this is obvious, but sometimes if things seemed a little off I would think, “If I just try a little harder I can fix this.” Which goes along with this: You can’t fix everything. Sometimes things just aren’t working and there’s nothing you can do about it. No matter how much effort you put in sometimes it just won’t work. I’m learning to deal with my control issues and just deal with life as it comes at me. I can’t control everything that happens in my life, all I can control is how I react to the situations I face. It’s scary not knowing what’s going to happen but it’s also exhilarating. I’m trying to learn to embrace the exhilarating feeling more. It’s freeing to let life play out before me and not try to control it all!
4) Sometimes you just won’t feel OK, and that is OK. It’s been 3 months since my breakup and for the most part I feel god now. But every once in awhile emotions will come up and knock me on my ass and I’ll feel sad and overwhelmed all over again. It’s OK to have a sad day and curl up watching your favorite TV show and just have a good cry. But you also have to remember that there are so many things out there to be happy about and, even though some days it’s really difficult, you have to try to find a silver lining. On my worst days when it seemed everything was going wrong in my life, I could sit back and think, “I’m going to be living with my best friend again” and it would remind me there are things to be happy about.
5) I was ridden with anxiety before about turning 25, but I’ve come to embrace it. I’m still young and trying to figure out my life, but so are most people I know that are my age. We have ideas of where we want our lives to go and we just have to find ways to achieve those big goals. For me my goal is to move to Arizona. I fell in love with that state during my first visit and I know I have to get there. So right now I’m enjoying the ride while I figure it out. It’s also never too late to learn new things. I want to learn how to play the keyboard (luckily I own one), I want to learn to longboard, I want to kayak, I want to run in that inflatable 5k, I want to travel to the places I’ve always dreamed of seeing…I am going enjoy my life while I’m still young enough to enjoy it.
This year is playing out like a sitcom and I’m just curious to see what the rest of the year brings. I’m moving and starting a completely new chapter of my life and I am anxious, excited, and scared but I believe everything happens for a reason and great things are coming in my life!